Growing up, I had often heard the saying “Hind sight is 20/20”. I never really understood what that meant until I was head-long into my divorce and the father of my children was in my rearview mirror.
I am the oldest child of three and our parents are still happily married. So were my dad’s parents, his grandparents and great-grandparents as well as most of my aunts and uncles. I don’t recall any divorces on my dad’s side of the family. The example around me growing up was that when the going gets tough in life, you pull your boot straps up and get to work.
With the example of my forefathers, I knew that when life and marriage got tough, you just pull together and figure it out. Yet I was so ill-equipped for the course of events that I would face in my first marriage. There were so many nights I would lay in bed crying out to God to save me from the hell I was living in. “God, where is the Easy Button? I just want out of here!”
My ex struggled with alcohol and drug addiction most of our marriage. I think mainly due to unresolved issues from his own childhood and it was his way of self-medicating. I know now it was never a means to hurt me or the kids but instead coping with his own pain.
Even though our marriage suffered and we parted ways, I know God still had good planned for me as well as for my ex-husband. I am so happy to say that he has been sober for many years now. God is using him to reach out and help others who are struggling with addiction.
Now that I am remarried, God has given my husband and me a passion and desire to minister to those who are struggling in their marriages. It is our mission to stop the disease of divorce inside and outside the church. God has shown us that because we remained faithful to him throughout both of our first marriages, He will use us and beacons of light in our culture of this “drive-thru” mentality of relationships.
Had we not gone through such hardship, pain, loss and suffering, we would not be able to minister to others the way God has led us. We would not have been equipped to walk alongside couples who are enduring financial strain, a wayward spouse or their own divorce. We would not have had the compassion and understanding to know what they are going through if we had not been there ourselves.
You see, friend. Life has no “easy button”, like the office supply commercial so humorously implicates. Real life is full of disappointment, loss, pain and trials of all kinds. It is also full of joy, good times, blessings, friends, love and family. When you are able to help others see past their current situation and look for the joy - that’s where the good life is, ya’ll!
When you pray away your circumstances or attempt to hide in a hole until it's over, you just might miss the lesson God has for you to learn. You may miss a ministry opportunity that you were meant to champion to impact the lives of others. I've believed for a very years that God allow us to endure hard things to learn a lesson and in turn we should teach that lesson to others.
Whatever you may being going through, know that God sees you. He hears your cry for help. He has a plan to use your situation for His good and perfect will. May this verse encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus and trust His plan for you.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose."